Last night I closed out an entire New York restaurant for my cousin’s birthday dinner. Bottle service and everything. He tried to “at least pick up the tip” and I was like “trust me, I’ve got this!” I mentioned it a bit before I deleted this blog but his dad died five weeks ago so I wanted to do something extra special for him since he’s been so extremely devastated. But it literally wasn’t even a thing. Like I don’t miss the money at all. I didn’t even look at the bill. Sugaring gives me stupid money and as great as I am at saving for school and the future, I love love love to treat the people I love love love. No matter how far we’re driving, I never ask friends for gas money and I don’t even flinch if someone needs to borrow cash in the cafeteria or something. For the first year in ever I was able to buy my best friend a shitload of birthday presents rather than just one thing and a card. I don’t flaunt my money too ostentatiously/suspiciously, but it just really ain’t a thang. And finally seeing a smile on his face made these last few weeks so much less painful. I’m so happy to be able to take care of those who mean a lot to me.
But the cutest part was that despite how grandiose dinner was, what truly made him happiest was the letter I wrote him. It really is the little things.
Turns out I can’t live off of just reading email updates from my favorite girls on here. Way too boring.
So I’ve resurrected this blog and will be using it sparingly to talk to the community at large and/or post random thoughts that cross my mind.
However, the more candid details of my odyssey will be posted on the password-protected annex of this blog @empirestatesuccess. If we’re close, I’ll be messaging you the password to that within the week, and if I somehow forget to message you, don’t hesitate to ask for access. Please note that, obviously, access will be limited to a handful of people because I started this blog to share my experiences as an ambitious college student on a mission to finish grad school debt-free with other like-minded individuals. Unfortunately, the majority of my previous 820 followers were unambitious trolls hoping to have the world handed to them and eager to tear down the happiness of anyone else they saw doing better than them. So I am only too thrilled to have that number at double digits now.
What’s most weird of all is that people claim they “were told” of why I deleted my blog which is interesting considering who “told” you this and how they could possibly know anything beyond the blatantly clear goodbye message that I posted on Friday. It’s also quite hilarious to see how quickly the people who regularly blew up my inbox begging for advice in exchange for “i love you”s start yapping the second they think I’ve disappeared.
I’ll repeat. I started this blog in the beginning as a way to commiserate and celebrate with the small sect of people on this planet who understand and that’s what I will continue to do. I ended my blog because, although I exercised extreme discretion in doing so, I still inadvertently took liberties with the personal boundaries of people that I cherish, made them uncomfortable, and hurt them more than I ever wanted to. So I am no longer going to do so or make people who mean a lot to me feel commodified — especially not for the entertainment of hundreds of lurkers. I’ll continue laughing, learning, and sharing with the girls I love at @empirestatesuccess and continue speaking in general to everyone else right here.